Unintended Attraction
by xLady-Salvatore-Belikovax
Summary: What happens when Edward and Alice catches Bella and Jasper making out on the couch? Hehe. ExB that turns into JxB! ;3
1. Unexpected

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the fabolous author of the Twilight Saga. This is just a fanmade story by me.  
I'd like to thank _Sheena Is A Punk Rocker_ as her story, _Another Girl, Another Planet_, got me to like Jazz/Bellz and it inspired me to write a story of my own with that pairing.  
And this one goes out to Tiger, my fab buddy that I haven't talked to for 2 days now and that's one of my biggest fans ever. She'll be so surprised when she sees I've done a Jazz/Bellz fic! Hehe. This one's for you, dear!  
This one's also for Devvie, of course, because she's so fab, too, and she was the first one to read this chappy!  
Lady love you guys so much!  
Lady also loves her sis, so this one's for you, too! EVEN IF you've never read the books! It's still for you, too!  
-hearts you three-**

**Bella's POV  
**

**Unexpected  
**

"We'll be right back. I promise," Edward said, my favorite smile fixated on his beautiful face as he stood in the threshold of the livingroom. Him and Alice was about to take-off somewhere, so they'd gotten ready the last few minutes while I'd been sat on the couch with Jasper. I was sitting the furthest to the left, and he was sitting as far right he could in the three-seated leather-sofa. Precaution?

It was a surprise apparently and I was slightly shocked by the fact that Edward hadn't tried to stop Alice. It must be really bad then.

"Don't they look cute together?" Alice grinned, looking at me and Jasper, sitting next to each other on the marble-white couch, as she came to stand beside my gorgeous boyfriend. Edward frowned a bit at her comment. "Funny, Alice." he muttered. "Come on. Let's _go_!" He wanted obviously to get back as soon as possible. I couldn't help but to agree. I missed him already. "Miss you already.." I said quietly, looking down as I knew my face turned pink.  
I looked up, as he was quiet, to see his golden eyes smoldering. "Miss you, too." he said softly.  
And then they were gone.

It seemed almost like they'd never come back to me. Sadly, I didn't have the patience that a vampire had, and therefore I was getting more and more anxious for their return as time passed by. Couldn't they hurry up a bit? The waiting was literally killing me!

Then this sudden wave of calm washed over me and I turned to look suspiciously at Jasper. "Sorry," he apologized quietly, obviously feeling a little self-conscious. "It's okay, but please don't try and calm me down again. Okay?" I didn't want to be manipulated. I had a right to feel anxious and I wasn't going to let anyone deprive me of that freedom. Not even the brother of the most perfect man alive. Not anyone.

I began drumming my fingers on my lap in frustration. _Please, hurry up!_, I thought and continued with the drumming. What were they _doing_?! What could possibly take several hours for vampires with inhuman speed as a gift? I'd rather not know as I hated surprises, and as it took this long I was sure it couldn't be good.

Then Jasper leaned over and put his hand on mine, which was laid on my thigh now, stopping my drumming. "Please," he said very softly. "It's getting kind of irritating." He smiled warmly at me, and I realized he was _really_ close. Maybe a bit too close.

I'd never caught his scent before as he'd never been _this_ close to me before, and I found myself almost getting dazzled by it. It was intoxicating. Instinctively I leaned closer, and to my surprise, he did, too. Our lips connected and I felt this pull that got me to throw my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, just like I did when I was kissing Edward.

To my surpise, again, he didn't pull away from me. He was more reckless than Edward, obviously, as I knew this must be hard for him, knowing his problems with the vegetarian diet. But he didn't seem to care, it didn't seem to bother him at all.

Suddenly we both started twisting our hands in each other's hair, holding both of our faces in place. I didn't remember how this had happened as we kept going - much longer than Edward and I ever did. All I knew was that Jasper was one hell of a kisser. I forgot pretty much everything as our lips moved together in synchronization.  
Both of us started breathing heavier and I had to pull back to catch my breath.

It was then that I realized that we were no longer alone.

Edward and Alice stood frozen by the door, staring at us with our hands in each other's hair and our heads extremely close. Closer than they'd ever been, closer than they ever should be even.

I saw hurt and anger flash across my partner's face as his eyes took in the peculiar sight. Who could've guessed _this_? No one. Not even Alice.

She was staring intently at Jasper, who was looking down. He released me and pushed himself away.

I looked back at Edward, who was still frozen and looking from me to Jasper and back, noticing what he was holding in his hands; a big bouquet of red roses, and a little black velvet box. A ring was in that box, there was no doubt about it. An engagement ring.

**Hehe. Cliffy? Heck yes!  
Please READ & REVIEW! Thank you!**


	2. Sparkling Sapphire

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer of course. This is just a fanmade story by me. I hope you'll like it.**

**Edward's POV**

**Sparkling Sapphire**

We drove quite fast to Seattle as we were both excited about this trip, seeing the road flying past us as I accelerated even more, going over a hundred-and-ten.

"Thank you, Alice," I said as I parked the car outside the jeweler's shop twenty minutes later. "For what?" she asked absent-mindedly in return as she got out of my silver Volvo. Her mind was occupied with rings, which was our mission right now. We were here in Seattle to look at engagement rings and such. I was going to propose to my dear Bella later tonight. As much as I tried denying it I knew I was very nervous about this in particular. I had no idea how to do this, and I wanted to do it properly. I wanted to be sure of a "Yes" and so this just _had_ to be perfect. Nothing less.

"For doing this," I smiled. "For helping me pick out the perfect ring."  
She grinned. "Anytime, Edward."  
I grinned, too.

"I'm so happy for you and Bella!" She ran and hugged me, and my smile just widened.  
"Thank you, Alice." I said again, hugging her back.

"Oh," she said then, breaking off, alarming me immediately.

"What?" My thoughts had wandered off, too, but to Bella herself instead. My sister's sudden cry had woken me up from my reverie. I'd been thinking about how I should actually do this later, and what Bella's reaction would be like. I was pretty sure she'd surprise me, like always, but hopefully it'd be in a good way this time.

"You won't see Bella for a few more hours. Sorry!" she frowned. I knew how much she wanted this to happen, too, almost as much as I wanted it to even.  
"Why not?" I frowned, too.  
"It's going to be a _very_ busy day, that's all."

We walked into the shop and a man in his thirties stepped immediately forwards to greet us. "Hello," he said in this very british accent, with a broad smile on his lips. "Do you need any help?"

Alice smiled warmly at the man. "We're looking for the _perfect_ ring.." she winked at him and inclined her head towards me. "And don't worry about the price. That won't be an issue here."

He was a bit baffled at first, but he soon regained his senses, and smiled back at my sister. "Ah! I suppose this is for one special little lady?" He guessed, glancing at me and I couldn't help but to smile at him as he went behind the counter. "Of course." I said politely, still smiling. _How could I not?_

"So, what did you two have in mind?" he indicated the pieces underneath the glass-cases in front of him. I walked over there for a closer look, as did Alice.

She looked up at him almost rightaway. Perhaps a bit _too_ soon. "Do you have anything more, what do you say, _unique_?" He didn't seem to notice though, I sighed in relief internally at that.

A devilish grin appeared on my face for just a second though, knowing how Alice was. I turned to look at the shopkeeper instead, anxiously awaiting his answer. "Of course, Miss!" he said, delighted. We didn't want to alarm the man by correcting him, telling him she was married already, so we kept quiet.  
Me and my sister's smiles just widened instead.

"There's one ring.. It's _quite_ expensive.." he started, looking at us meaningfully.  
"Money is not a problem." Alice said again, smiling sweetly.  
He nodded knowingly. "It's called The Meganium by its maker. It's pure gold and it's decorated with a delicate sapphire at its heart. And a thin wreath of diamonds encircles it.."

As he described it I could see it in my head; me slipping that ring on my Bella's finger. I saw the huge smile lightening up her face as I did it, too, while I was on my knees, asking her to be my bride.  
It was perfect.

As I snapped out of my reverie I saw both Alice and the human male watching me cautiously. I chuckled slightly, feeling quite self-conscious at this point. "That's the one."

Alice beamed at me. _YAY!_, she screamed inside her head and I grinned at that.

"What would you like to engrave it with, Mr..?"

"Mr. Cullen," I told him. "And I'd like it to say.." This was the hard part. The hardest one, in my opinion. A message that could only contain a few words was supposed to describe how much she really meant to me. It was _very_ hard indeed. _My reason and life_? Perhaps that was too corny, but it was still true though. She was my everything, and I wouldn't want anything else for as long as I lived, which was for eternity so that said pretty much all. _My encircled heart_? Okay, that was a bit too much.

Then it hit me.

_That's so cute, Edward!! It's the most perfect thing you could ever put!!_, Alice screamed again. "Thank you," I mumbled, too quiet for the human to hear me.  
I turned to look the shopkeeper straight in the face now. "This is what I want you to put.."  
His green eyes brightened at my words. "Excellent, sir. I'm sure you're future fiancée will be just thrilled."

"I sure hope so.." I told him as I paid him the amount of money I owed. It would've been very, very expensive in my Bella's eyes, but nothing was too expensive for me if I put it all on her. She deserved so much more.

We'd spent about an hour or two at the Jeweler's before we were ready to leave. It was time to go to the florist now!  
It took us about thirty extra minutes to get there because of a stupid traffic jam.  
"You saw this coming, didn't you?" I glared at my favorite sister, and she looked back at me, unashamed.  
"Yes."

"Are there any more road-blocks up ahead?" I asked, beginning to drum my fingers impatiently on the wheel as I waited for the traffic lights to turn green.  
"Not that I can see right now, but this one was unevitable, Edward." she told me, and I frowned.  
"Perfect.."

When we finally got there, a young girl named Alexa, it said so on her namecard, gave me and my sister a friendly smile. She was rather petite and she had this long, wavy brown hair that reached her as far down as her waist. Her blue eyes darted from Alice to me, and back. _I wonder if they're related.._, she mused. I chuckled. Hadn't I heard that question far too many times already? It was getting kind of funny almost.

"What?"

"It's nothing." I said. "Let's go look at some flowers! Do you think she likes roses?" I asked as I went to stand beside Alexa, who got surprised to my amusement, as she was standing amongst the mountains of different-colored roses; black, yellow, pink, red, purple and _tiger_? That was the oddest thing I'd ever seen; a black and yellow rose, a tiger rose. "I have no idea, Edward." _Edward.. nice name.._

"Well, I hope she likes them.." I picked up seven red roses as I knew that _seven_ roses meant that you loved the person you gave them to. And I loved Bella Swan more than anything, or anyone, in the whole world, so of course she'd recieve seven delicate red roses from me. I was nothing but thorough.

This trip had taken much longer than I'd expected. _Five_ hours! I hoped Bella was okay, and that she'd have fun while I'd been away. I mused over what she'd possibly done without me. I knew Jasper was there to keep her company, but mainly to keep her calm though. And Rosalie and Emmett were there, too. Our parents had gone away on another hunting-trip. I knew she wasn't as fond of Rosalie and Jasper like she was everyone else, but at least she had Emmett. I knew they liked each other a lot. It made me happy that they got along so well.

I drove as fast as I could to get home, longing to be with _her_ again, and eager for later tonight when I was about to ask her the most important thing ever; _Will you marry me, Isabella Marie Swan?_

The car's speed increased as I slammed the gaspedal further down.

We were home in no time.

I took the red roses in one hand and the little black velvet box in the other as I made my way up the driveway with Alice walking next to me. She was already too far-out, thinking about wedding dresses and what catering company she should hire and everything else that needed to be fixed before the wedding. I smiled as I joined in on her thoughts, thinking now also on such things. Although she hadn't said "Yes." yet, but I was pretty sure she would. After all, we were practically made for each other. She was my other half, she completed me. Now I just wanted to make it official, so the rest of the world would know this, too; that we were each other's soulmates.

I didn't see it at first as it took me by surprise, but when I finally did realize what I was seeing was true, my eyes widened in shock. My already frozen body went numb. I knew this would haunt me for all eternity, forever etched behind my pale eyelids; the vision of my most beloved kissing my own brother with more passion than she'd ever had with me.

_Jasper..._ Alice's thoughts penetrated my mind as it shut down on its own. I suddenly realized that I was not alone being cheated on. Jasper had betrayed her just as much as my Bella had betrayed me. I took comfort in that, but still.. I could not forget this. Ever.

**Hehe. The people I dedicate this chapter to are actually hidden in the chapter! Clever, huh? Yup, if I may say so myself. Very clever indeed.** **All I can tell yah is that I dedicate this to 5 people. You all know who you are! Lady loves y'all very much! Hehe. I really do hope you liked this chappy!  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you!**


	3. Time Out

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. She's fab, ain't she? Yes, she is. Hehe. But we all know that, so anyways! I dedicate this lovely chappy to _all_ my buddies!! Hehe. Hope you'll like it!  
****  
Bella's POV**

**Time-Out**

We were currently sitting next to each other, me and Edward, on my bed at my house. He was holding that little box with the ring in his hands, turning it around as if to look at it from every angle that was possible. I was looking at it, too.

I couldn't believe that he was actually going to propose to me. He'd clearly said before that it wouldn't be possible for him to be that close to me. Not that much, even if we'd been quite close already. He'd specifically said that, so what was this about? What had made him change his mind now?

It was a very uncomfortable silence.

I needed to clear my throat and tried to do it as quietly as possible, but, of course, he heard me. "So.." He murmured, breaking the silence, and immediately I became extremely nervous. I was afraid of what he might say. What did he think of me now? Did he even love me as much as he had before, after I'd betrayed him like that? The thought of him stopping to love me hurt immensely. I could feel it tear in my heart right now, just by thinking about it.

"What was it like?" he asked in this flat voice that I didn't like to hear. It scared me as it sounded like he was barely interested, like he didn't care.

"What was what like?" I answered quietly, feeling very self-conscious. Of course I knew what he meant, but I wished he didn't. I wished that he was referring to something else, but that was one stupid wish because how could he ignore _this_? How could he ignore the fact that he'd caught his girlfriend making out with his brother?

"What was it like kissing my _brother_?" His voice was still flat as he said that, and I knew he'd said "my brother" for effect.

I felt horrible as I turned my eyes away from that black box. What in the world would I say to that? What _could_ I say? I gulped as I didn't know what to tell him.

He hated the fact that I wasn't telling him what I was thinking now, and I knew that. But what the hell did I have to say in my defense?! _Nothing!_

I'd cheated on him, and I didn't know why. It was just that Jasper had gotten so close.. and his scent.. I closed my eyes as I remembered.

"So.." he murmured again. "That good then?"

Could he actually have said anything _worse_? His comment tore at my insides as I bit myself in the lip, keeping my eyes closed. I didn't dare to look at him now.

"Will you please talk to me?" He said, obviously frustrated with me. But I still didn't know what to say to him. I feared that I'd just make it worse if I voiced my thoughts. "Are you going to be quiet for the rest of the evening? If so, I'll leave. I'll leave now."

That made me open my eyes. "No." I managed to utter, but still looking away from him.

"No what?" He asked. "No, it wasn't that good. No, you won't talk to me, or no, you won't be quiet for the rest of the evening?" I could hear him raising his eyebrows, looking at me.

"Stop," I cried. "Please, stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop sounding like you don't care! Stop it all!" I couldn't stand it anymore. How could he still be calm after what I'd just done?! What was he playing at?!

"I don't know what you're talking about." That flatness in his voice was killing me now.

"Stop sounding like you're indifferent!"

"I think we need a break," he said then. I froze as my air was cut short. I hadn't really expected this to happen. "A time-out."

My eyes kept staring in front of myself, not really comprehending what had just happened, what he had just said.

"A time-out?" I breathed.

"Yes." It sounded like he really meant it, too. His mind was clearly set.

"Okay," I said quietly. "Okay."

"It's for the best, I think." Edward told me as he got up from my bed.

"You're leaving?" I said, looking up at him. He looked determined, and that hurt.

"Yes." he said calmly, looking straight at me. "There's no reason for me to stick around here anymore tonight." He hesitantly reached his hand out, about to stroke my cheek, but he changed his mind quickly and let it fall to his side instead. "Goodbye, Bella," he darted out of my window, leaving me, staring after him while tears were falling silently down my cheeks.

**Cliffy, again? Perhaps. Hehe. Anywho.. I really do hope you liked this!  
Please READ & REVIEW!! It means a lot!! Thanks!**


	4. Company

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.  
Thank you all for the great reviews so far!! And yeah.. so.. here's chappy 4! Enjoy!**

**Bella's POV**

**Company**

Bright sunlight woke up me up that Monday. It was three days after Edward had decided that we should take a "time-out", and so I hadn't seen him since then. I hadn't seen anyone, except for Charlie, my dad, as I'd practically stayed in bed since our goodbye. _His_ goodbye.

I was actually very surprised as I opened my eyes, because, _sunlight_ in _Forks_? That wasn't two words you often found in the same sentence. My thoughts immediately wandered off to my... What should I call him now? Was he still my boyfriend? I didn't know so I didn't finish that thought. It hurt too much. I just knew for a fact that I wouldn't be seeing them today either, as they'd be keeping themselves inside because they'd have to avoid getting struck by the sun's gleaming rays. It didn't hurt them though, it just made them sparkle like diamonds, like beautiful diamonds.

I got out of bed, and froze instantaneously. I wasn't alone.

"Jasper?" I asked nervously as I stared at the still figure in my old rocking chair. His golden eyes were focused on me, but not in a scary way. He looked sad. _Very_ sad.

"Hey, Bella." He said, looking down on the ground.

I cocked my head to the side a little. "What's wrong?"

"Me and Alice split up.." he started. My jaw dropped as he said that, knowing what had made them do that. "I'm so sorry, Jasper!" I cried, putting my hands in front of my mouth. "This is all my fault!" I gasped in horror.

He held up one of his hands in protest. "No, Bella," he said. "This isn't _your_ fault. It's _mine_! If I hadn't kissed you back then none of this would've happened.." he shook his head fervently as if he was trying not to remember something.

"Something else happened?" This was getting to be too much for me. I was almost on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"Alice went to Denali!" He exclaimed, burying his face in his hands, and my eyes widened out of shock. _Alice had gone to Denali?!_ Alice had _left_?!

I slowly went over to him, cautiously putting my hand on his shoulder as to comfort him. "I'm so sorry, Jasper.." I murmured, looking down on my bedroom floor. What the hell had I done?! I had broken up, not only me and Edward, but Alice and Jasper, _too_! Although we were just on a "time-out", as he'd called it. I wondered how long this time-out would last. Would it ever end? My heart started beating irregularly as I considered the possibility of him and me never getting back together.

"What's the matter with your heart?" Jasper asked, now looking at me incredulously.

"It's nothing." I muttered. "It does that sometimes.." .._When I'm with Edward, or when I'm thinking about him.._, I added in my mind.

I blushed slightly as I remembered that Jasper could hear everything, _too_, just like Edward. Of course he could hear my heart misbehaving now.

"Why are you embarrassed?" He raised one perfect, delicate eyebrow at me.

"Just my heart.. it's stupid.." I mumbled, smiling weakly at him.

"Don't be embarrassed. It's nothing to be embarrassed about!" He returned my smile.

His topaz eyes captivated me and I felt as if I could not look away, like they held me prisoner or something "Erm.." I said, my mind blank as I met his gaze. I blinked twice, trying to focus. "Why did you come here?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Oh," I muttered. "I didn't mean it like that! I was just wondering what made you come over here..? You never have before."

"I wanted to apologize." He said. Like it was obvious.

"For what?"

"For the kiss."

"Why?"

He raised both of his eyebrows now. "What do you mean why?"

"Why did you want to apologize for _that_?"

"You don't feel like that kiss was a mistake?"

I thought it over for a minute. "I.." I mumbled, biting my lip slightly. "I don't know.."I admitted sheepishly. He seemed to be speechless.

"Do _you_ think it was a mistake then?" I asked quietly.

"No.." He admitted after a few minutes had passed.

I went back to sit down on my bed.

"What should we do now?" This was getting pretty unreal for me. Me and Jasper, hanging out? But what else could we do when our loved ones had rejected us?

He glanced at me for a second, and then away. "I don't know.." He told me. "Well, I'll have to stay here 'til the sun goes down, so I'm staying for now."

I smiled tentatively. He smiled back at me.

"So.." I said after a few moments of an uneasy silence. "How about a movie?"

- - -

We put on this movie called 'Shallow Hal', which was about a guy who fell in love with this huge woman, but as he'd been put under a spell he didn't see her like that. He saw her as skinny and beautiful when she was really huge and ugly; on the outside. He learned not to be so superficial as he fell in love with her inner beauty. It was a good movie.

"That was cute." I said as the credits started.

"Mmm.." he murmured quietly.

We were sitting next to each other on the love seat now. I turned to look at him as he had gotten awfully quiet. He looked torn somehow, like he was struggling with himself.

He carefully put his arm around my shoulder then, and I stiffened in response. "Jasper..?"

His eyes connected with mine again, and I couldn't look away. Just like before.

I knew where this was going before it actually did.

His cold, marble lips crushed against mine and I more or less succumbed. His touch, like Edward's, was like a drug to me. I instantly craved more, and so I knotted my hands in his blond hair, pulling his face closer to mine. He followed my example.

What the hell was I doing?! Hadn't I done enough damage already? What would Edward do if he found about _this_?

I pulled away first, resting my forehead against his, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry.." I said in between breaths. "But I can't do this.. Not now.."

"Edward?" He guessed.

"Yes." I bit my lip, again, as I thought about him. What had I _done_?!

"It's okay," Jasper said calmly. "I understand."

"I'm sorry, Jazz.."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it.."

- - -

It wasn't out of love or lust that I kissed him again. This was a few hours later. It was _only_ out of comfort that I did it. To somehow heal the wounds, that were threathening to tear us apart, to an extent. _Just_ comfort.

It was as if we were desperate for reassurance or something. Like we craved to be validated after having taken powerful blows to our hearts; mine still beating, and his long gone.

I held his face in my hands while I kissed him. "Maybe we should stop.." I murmured against his lips as I took a breather. "Maybe.." he murmured back, his hands caressing my face, too. I stroked his cheek absent-mindedly, looking over his pale features. He was actually beautiful, I'd never realized that before. Not like Edward though, but he still was beautiful in my eyes. Just in a different way.

"What?" He asked as he noted the change in my emotions.

I blushed and he pulled slightly away from me again. "What?" he repeated.

"You're sort of beautiful, I never realized.." I blushed an even deeper red.

He was quiet then, and I wondered what he was thinking about.

"I think I should leave now.." He got up from the love seat, leaving me there. This was getting a bit déjà-vu-like for me; being left behind. What the hell was wrong with me?! Why did I keep making people leave me? Often I didn't really know what I did wrong either, which only made it worse.

"Can't you stay?" I asked hopelessly, glancing up at him. He looked back at me.

"I'll be back later tonight, okay?"

"Okay," I sighed in relief. I didn't like being alone and with him there, being so close to _him_ without having to be with him himself as we were on that stupid "time-out", I was happier. "I'll have the window open for you later.."

Jasper nodded and then turned to leave. It was darker outside now. "See you, Jazz.." I called after him, but I did not recieve a reply. He was already gone.

**I hope you liked that. And I hope it was a good enough cliffy! Hehe. Ish I evil? Perhaps. Hehe.  
Anyways.. back to dedications! I think I'ma dedicate this chappy to Lisa & Becca, two of my friends from home, 'cause they're soo ahmazing, and I realize that I've barely dedicated them anything! GAH! So.. yeah.. this one's for you! Lil Lady loves you two a lot!  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you!**


	5. Apologies

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.  
I know this one's very short, but I just wanted you to know what happened between Jazz and Alice that night.  
So, without further ado, here's chapter 5 of Unintended Attraction! Enjoy!  
Oh, BTW! Listen to _Come What May_ from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack while reading.. I swear it'll bring tears to your eyes! Or at least make them sting a bit because I sure know mine does.. Hehe.  
**  
**Jasper's POV**

**Apologies**

"Edward, please.." I pled, again, standing in the threshold of his room. "Just hear me out!"

He growled in response, glaring, as he slowly approached me with a _very_ hostile look on his pale face. "You're _not_ my brother!" He spat, slamming the door right in my shocked face. I just stared blankly at his door, frozen to the core.

"Please.." I said again, really quiet. I doubted if anyone could hear me, not that anyone wanted to either. Everyone had taken Edward and Alice's sides in this matter, so, once again, I was left alone. I had no one.

This was three days after and it was worse than I'd imagined it would be. My family had not precisely abandoned me though, but they sure didn't feel comfortable being around me and so therefore I was now often on my own.

But alone-time didn't suit me either as I kept having flashbacks to that very evening when my love had said she'd had enough;

"Alice, I swear to you! It was nothing!" I'd cried while she'd been running around our room, fetching clothes from her over-sized wardrobe and throwing them into a large suitcase.

"You call that _nothing_?" she'd shrieked at me. Her eyes were almost bugging out, her tiny eyebrows raised as she stared at me. "You cheated on me with my _best_friend.." Anger turned to disappointment and betrayal in her usually gentle voice, and emotions. Her lightyellow eyes looked deep into mine for a few moments before they looked away quite abruptly. I could feel that she didn't want me anymore, and it was unbearable.

"Alice, I love you! Please don't go!" I grabbed her arm softly, turning her around, not wanting to anger her further.

"You _love_ me?" she said in disbelief. "That's one hell of a way to show it, Jazz!" She broke loose from my grip, snatching her arm back. I was near tears, if that would've been possible for me, as I realized that I would not be able to change her mind after all. It was already set; it had been since the day before.

"I'm leaving," she said then as she picked up the now full suitcase. "And don't you dare come after me." Her voice broke once as she said the last part. I was stood frozen in the middle of the room as she left, leaving behind me and my now unwanted heart.

I closed my eyes as I remembered, shuddering. I couldn't believe that this had happened. I just couldn't believe that this was now my reality. No Alice, no family. I had nothing.

A thought struck me then, and I knew I wasn't alone of having lost everything. _I wasn't alone.._

**You likey? I hope you did.  
This one goes out to Tiger, my fab buddy that I love to death! Dunno what I'd do without her.. so, this is for you, hunny! Lady loves yah so much! Teehee.  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thankies a lot!**


	6. Decisions

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**I'm sorry for having made you wait for so long, but the wait is now finally OVER!! So, ENJOY!!**

**Edward's POV**

**  
Decisions**

_Bella.._

Had I seriously just heard that? Had _he_ seriously just thought about _her_?

I growled as I got up from the couch and went over to the door, to obviously stop him from executing his plans. But a thought struck me then as I was about to open the door to my bedroom.

Maybe she wanted him to go see her.. Maybe she had called for him..

I could not deny the fact that the thought of my Bella, together with Jasper, my brother, was clawing on my insides. I stopped dead in my tracks as the numbness slowly began taking over me, filling me up. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

As I closed my eyes I saw it in front of me, the same vision, over and over. It would always remain behind my pale eyelids, waiting to replay itself everytime I closed them.

I saw _them_ again, going at it, as usual. I didn't understand what I saw really, though. It was too hard for me to comprehend this. I'd thought Jasper couldn't restrain his animalistic side from such a temptation like Bella's blood, and I'd been convinced that Bella loved _only_ me. Why had I not seen this before? Shouldn't I have noticed that something was going on between the two of them? Or perhaps I was just blinded by love and therefore refused to see it. Maybe it was like that for Alice, too.

She'd now left because of what had happened, and I couldn't say I blamed her for leaving. I more or less wanted to leave, too. But there was one thing that made me stay put, and that was the love of my life, well, existence; Bella. My love for her was rooted too deeply into the core of my being that I could barely even dream of ever leaving her side, but I had now, though. Well, I'd put us on time-out because I needed to think over the events of the last couple of days. So much had happened in no time, and it seemed like everything kept going faster and faster. I felt like I had no longer any control.

In just three days this had happened; I'd bought an engagement ring, I'd caught my Bella and my brother making out on the couch at my family's house – I winced at the memory -, Alice and Jasper had fought and now she had left for Denali. She'd told me she needed to get away from Forks; away from her treacherous former best friend and husband.

Again, I couldn't blame her as I felt just as betrayed as she did. This was so unreal. My Bella in the arms of my brother.. I shuddered at the thought, wanting to cry even more badly now. I wished I was human, too, just so that I could let this grief pass through me, to let the tears fall down my cheeks. But, of course, I'd have to keep this bottled up inside of me. Forever.

I wanted to rip my heart out, so depressed was I. I'd waited for this for so long, and now that dream had shattered. I'd waited for _her_, and I'd thought she had somehow waited for me, _too_. Apparently I was wrong, apparently she didn't feel the same way, apparently I'd been blind all this time.

But if she really did want Jasper more than me – I winced again – shouldn't I let her be then? If he made her happier, should I really stop them? I loved Bella more than anything, or anyone, and all I wanted was for her to be happy. So, if he really did make her happier, then perhaps I should just give her up, even if it hurt me immensely to do so. If it was better for her, I knew I could make it. No, if it was better for her, I _would_ make it. I would stay away from them, well, I'd _try_ at least.

There was no guarantees, I knew that. I think we all knew that, especially Alice with her extraordinary gift of seeing the future. I couldn't help but to think of her as I made my mind up, knowing she'd see the consequences my actions had. My unbeating heart more or less flinched, knowing how much pain my sister was in right now.

A wave of pure fury coursed through me as I thought about my brother and what he'd done to my favorite sister, but that anger did not last long as my mind went from Alice to my Bella. He made her happier, so how could I be mad at him? _But he'd hurt my sister!_ I wanted to hit him badly for it. _But he brought my Bella the happiness that she deserved!_ Was that reason enough for me to not kill him? Was Bella more important than Alice? Well, I wasn't sure if my sister wanted me to kill her husband, though, but I'd do it for her if I had to, but mostly if she wanted me to. I tried collecting my thoughts as I knew that Alice could possibly see the outcome of my decisions, but only if she really did keep an eye on us, which I wasn't too sure about. I at least hoped she didn't.

I'd gone back to my black, leather couch and I'd sat myself in the middle of it whilst pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and my indexfinger. That was just an old habit, although it _did_ help calm me down after awhile.

My mind wandered back to Bella, well, the proposal I'd planned rather, which never happened and would most likely never happen now. It felt like someone had put enormous weights on my shoulders right now because I kept slumping forwards, keeping my head bowed down.

I was so preoccupied by my thoughts that I barely realized that the sun had gone down, but when I did finally realize that I heard the door being closed downstairs in the hallway, and I recognized the _voice_. Jasper. I could tell by his thoughts that he'd gone to visit Bella, and that he'd spent the day at the Swan residence. I tried keeping my emotions in control as I listened in;

_Why did I do that?! Oh man.. I'm dead. Alice will never forgive me now._

I could tell he was freaking out, and to my surprise, sadness was coloring his thoughts.

_Why did I kiss her again?!_

He'd kissed her _again_?! The anger inside me was close to boiling over, and therefore I tried harder to control myself. I could not be hasty now, I could not afford such a thing as my fury towards my brother to destroy this. If he made Bella happy I would not hurt him, I would not hurt him for her. And that was why I stopped listening to his monologue.

I'd have to tell him what I felt though, I had to explain myself, which meant that I'd tell him that Bella was his now. I would not be in their way. The hard part was just to go downstairs, face him and tell him what was on my mind. Could I do it?

Slowly I walked out of my room and down the staircase of our home, and found my brother sitting on the couch in the livingroom. He looked so guilty, but I felt no pity for him. How could I? He'd stolen my love from me. Again, another wave of fury passed through me, and that made him look up at me, finally realizing I was there, next to him. "E-Edward?"

"Jasper," I nodded curtly, not looking away from his topaz eyes. He seemed to be quite afraid of me, and that made me grin, which made him in return look even more uneasy as he thought I looked mad. Maybe I was, and maybe I wasn't. I guessed only time could tell.

**Okay.. so I hope you liked this..  
Again I'm sorry for having made you wait for, like, 2 weeks!!  
Anyways.. Please READ & REVIEW!! Thanks!**


	7. Finding Home

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**First of all, I want to apologize for the late update. It's almost been a month since my last one on this fic. I'm really sorry about that! It's just been a lot going on and I've had absolutely no inspiration for UA for a long time.  
Hopefully this chapter is as good as the others, so I haven't lost my touch, you know. I really hope I haven't.**

**Anyways.. the peeps reading my newest fic, Business or Pleasure?, which is about Bella and Edward, of course, where Bella's a Volturimember and Edward's a human. Her mission is to bring him back to Volterra with her, but can she still do it after she's fallen in love with him?  
Hehe. Ah well, the peeps reading that fic knows about my special keyword for every chapter. As I don't think a lot of people actually read the Author's notes (this black text, up and below the chap) I've started doing keywords, which means that in your reviews you tell me the keyword (if you've read the note for the chap) for the chap, so I know you're with me.  
I personally think it's stupid not to read them as I may possibly tell you important stuff about this, or other fics of mine, in them.  
So, please, read 'em!**

**But.. NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!! (I've coined this saying!)**

**Jasper's POV  
**

**Finding Home**

"I need to talk to you about something," He said slowly, his voice even. And the indifference was scaring me, for I knew whatever he was saying wasn't going to be pleasant. His emotions were in control, but I knew he could snap just like that. If it was about Bella, he could snap rightaway, no hints on an outburst beforehand.

"What is it, Edward?" I said carefully, afraid of the upcoming fight. There would be one, no doubt about it. How could there not be?

I'd made his girlfriend, the love of his life, cheat on him with me. And I'd cheated on Alice; his sister, his favorite person in the world besides Bella (It was obvious by the way they talked to each other and by the way they behaved when they were together).

How could there not be a fight?

What he said then surprised me like hell.

"I'm not going to stand in your way." He said simply, looking like he really meant it, too. What the heck?! Now I was confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"You and Bella. I'm not going to stand in your way."

"What?!" Had he just said "_You and Bella_"?

"You heard me."

"I'm not in love with Bella, Edward!"

"I won't stand in your way." He said again, apparently not listening to me at all. Then he walked out of the room, and left me on the couch, staring after him, in shock.

What the hell had just happened?

- - -

I went back to Bella's house around 11pm that night, figuring she would be up and that perhaps Charlie would be in bed by now. The run didn't take too long, just about 10 minutes or so.

When I stopped outside of her house, I saw that the lights were on in her bedroom and for some reason I felt like I was home as I looked up, imagining her being in there, waiting for me. It was much more home than my own house, for I was welcomed here.

I rushed up the wall and into her room, to find no one. Her room was empty.

With a puzzled look on my face I looked around her room, almost expecting her to jump out from nowhere. But she didn't.

After a few seconds, or minutes – I didn't know, the door opened slightly, and the lights from the hallway lit up her room even more, as Bella in a silk pyjamas was revealed.

Her eyes widened a bit as she saw me, but quickly regained her senses, and smiled, saying "Hi" as she passed me, sitting down on her bed.

"Hi," I said, turning around to look at her. "How are you?" I sat myself slowly down on her small bed, next to her.

"Okay, I guess," she shrugged. "And you?"

"I'm better now, thank you."

"Something wrong?"

"Erm.." Should I tell her the truth? Should I tell her what Edward told me? Should I really tell her that Edward pretty much broke up with her today? "No."

"What aren't you telling me?" Bella demanded.

"It's nothing, really." My ass.

She glared at me before she glided farther up on her bed, pulling the covers off as she laid down, pulling the sheets back up. Bella continued to look at me suspiciously as she looked up from the sheets that reached her up to her chin. I'll admit she looked kind of cute then.

She yawned. "I'm tired."

"Maybe you should sleep then." I chuckled quietly, and she smiled in response.

"Maybe." She agreed. "But what are you going to do?"

"Can I stay?" I asked hesitantly, fearing a rejection. I didn't have anywhere else to go really.

"Of course." She smiled warmly at me. "You're always welcome to stay here, Jasper."

Her words brought enormous relief and happiness with them. Finally, after several days of misery, I felt good. Not perfect, like I'd been with Alice, but much better than before.

I realized that being with Bella made me happier, at least she was the only one who seemed to care for me now. She liked me, she enjoyed my company. And that's all that I needed right now, someone who cared for me.

"Thank you," I murmured, smiling back at her.

She yawned again.

"You should sleep." I pointed out again.

She rolled her eyes, sighing; "Fine."

"Erm.. Jazz?" she said after a few moments of silence. I'd almost thought she'd fallen asleep by now, and that was until she spoke.

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can sleep.." she sounded embarrassed.

"Why not?"

"I haven't really slept that much the last couple of days.."

"Oh." The reason behind her sleep deprivation was obvious. She was so used to having my brother staying with her at nights, and now he was gone.. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, the appropriate decision, or the wrong one that I was considering now. Should I? Does she want me to? Could it go further? If so, _would_ it?

I had absolutely no idea, and I was a bit scared of what the outcome could be, and _mean_.

"I'm so used to having _him_ here.." She sounded sad, choking when mentioning him, whilst looking at the small, remaining space next to her on the bed, and I could see tears silently running down her cheeks in the darkness.

"Don't cry.." I murmured pathetically, reaching over to wipe them away.

She didn't hinder me, just looked up at me, teary-eyed still, and gazed at me wonderously, as if questioning my request. "I don't like seeing people cry.." I admitted sheepishly.

"Why?" She asked.

"I don't know." I told her honestly. "Weakness, I guess."

"I'm weak?"

I laughed lightly. Edward hadn't lied about her low self-esteem. "Bella, you're definitely not weak. If you were, I would've been pretty amazed by the fact you've been through all of this, like involving yourself with vampires, and you're still alive."

The corners of her mouth pulled slightly up into a very small smile.

"You're _not_ weak." I said again, wiping the last tears away, and our eyes connected as I spoke. Again, I couldn't look away. There was something about those chocolate brown eyes that somehow managed to capture my full attention, keeping me there, like a prisoner. Although, it was a very nice and beautiful prison and so the prisoner could not really protest against his captivity, as he enjoyed it so much.

Hesitantly I leaned closer, but I did not kiss her on her full lips. I wasn't too sure if she'd want me to, or even if I wanted to either. Instead I gently kissed her forehead before I slowly laid down next to her. "Mind if I..?"

"No." She said quietly, looking directly into my topaz-eyes. Slowly she crept closer to me, and rested her head against my cool arm. The warmth from her made me warmer, too, and even if it felt so strange, and unnerving, I still welcomed it.

I watched as her breathing became more and more calm, and her body more relaxed, as she fell asleep right next to me. And in that moment I knew I was home.

**Okay.. you like? I do hope so.  
If you have a few seconds to spare, please click the little button below and leave me a lil comment, just so I know if I'm doing a good job or not. Feedback's great! Randomness is also awesome! Hehe. Just say anything, really. I don't care what it is. Hehe. Ah well, it'd be awesome if you did comment because your reviews truly make my day. They really do make me that happy, and I can only write when I am happy, so you catch my drift? If you want more, then please tell me so. I won't know otherwise.  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!!  
Keyword for this chap; Nestea Lemon (for I have some right here beside me)**


	8. Awakening

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**Okay, so atm I've got MAJOR muse for UA, which is very good news. Yay! Hehe. Anyways.. here yah go!  
**

**..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!!**

**- - -**

**Bella's POV  
**

**Awakening**

It was still a bit dark outside when I woke up the next morning. And very cold. The chill I felt was alarming, as it reminded me only of one thing, well, person. The person that meant the most to me in the whole world; the person that I could not in a million years ever forget; the person I loved more than anyone.

With fear of waking up from my dream, and return to reality, I turned around, with eyes closed, and rested my head against his cool, marble chest.

Trembling, my lips kissed his neck, all the way up to his lips. He kissed me back passionately and it was as if nothing had happened between us. Nothing at all. My hands made their way up to his hair, and twisted themselves into the mess. We both started bething heavier, and after a few moments, he pulled back, breathing; "Bella..."

That woke me up. It wasn't Edward's velvet voice I'd just heard. It was Jasper's.

And as the realization hit me, the tears began flowing down my cheeks without mercy. They just kept coming.

"Bella?" Jasper asked, alarmed now, as I sat up.

"I..." I stuttered, sobbing. "I... I thought you were Edward."

His arms wrapped themselves around me, pulling me closer to him. "I'm sorry." he apologized. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," I said, leaning against his shoulder, letting him hold me in his arms. "It's not your fault."

Suddenly he became rigid, completely still, and I got alarmed. "Jasper?" I asked nervously. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go.." he said warily.

"Why?"

But before he could answer, the doorbell rang shrill from downstairs. "Wait here." I told him, before I got up from the bed, and made my way downstairs.

Charlie had already left for work, so it was only me and Jasper here, except for the visitor though.

Slowly I walked over to the frontdoor and yanked it open, and as I saw who it was, my heart stopped beating and I was no longer breathing. My angel stood there, his hair wet from the pounding rain outside, and he looked at me incredulously, looking as if he was searching for something.

I still wasn't breathing, and he seemed to notice that at the same time I did.

"Breathe, Bella.." he urged.

I kept staring at his perfect face, not saying a word, and still not breathing. My head started feeling light, so I took a deep breath, and looked away from him. "Edward," I murmured.

"We need to talk, Bella,"

"What about?"

"Come for a walk with me?"

That didn't sound good, that didn't sound good at all. Those were the exact words he'd told me before he broke up with me last year...

"Please.." I hopelessly pleaded, already knowing what he would say.

"It's over." The tone in his velvet voice was hard, icy, as he spoke. My heart began to crumble at the words.

"What?" _No, please, no._

"It's over." He said again, his topaz-eyes were distanced, not the usual warm liquid. "I won't be in the way for you two anymore."

"Please, Edward.." Knowing him, I knew he wouldn't change his mind. Yet I still tried to change him. "I love you. Don't do this."

"Goodbye, Bella," he leaned in, kissed my forehead ever so gently, and then pulled back. One hand stroked my cheek softly, as he looked into my eyes. And slowly he closed them before he turned around, and walked back to his silver Volvo.

"Edward!" I cried, tears beginning to sting my eyes, running out from the house. But as I took the first few steps out from my sanctuary, the Volvo had already started, and disappeared around the bend.

I couldn't do this; I couldn't do this again. One's heart can only take as much, and now he had broken it once more. Twice my heart had been shattered; I couldn't breathe. He'd been my life, and now I was dead, as he'd left me, leaving nothing behind. He'd been my everything, and with his departure, I was empty.

A new moon was on the horizon once again.

Could I fight the darkness that was bound to enslave me now? Did I have the strength for that? Was it my destiny to live without love?

I fell onto the wet pavement, my hands covering my face, as the rain continued to pour down, drenching me. The raindrops that fell onto my face got mixed with the tears of salt that streamed down my pale cheeks.

I don't know how long I sat there, but after what seemed to be forever, I was lifted off the ground, and pulled into a cold, yet warm, embrace.

Jasper held onto me as I sobbed into his stone shoulder, stroking me on the back of my head, trying to soothe me. "Shh.." he murmured softly into my ear. "It'll be alright. Trust me."

His words were comforting, but I was in too much grief to take them seriously. All that I could think about was the fact that Edward had left me, again. I'd thought we'd be together forever after the whole Volturi ordeal, as he'd told me that my blood no longer held the same temptation that it once had. The idea of losing me had been unbearable, and so I'd never imagined the possibility of him leaving me because of reasons other than my safety. I had surely not expected this.

Who would've thought before that Jasper would ever be holding me like this? That was an easy question to answer. No one, that's who. No one had ever expected this to happen.

"Let's go back inside.." Jasper whispered into my ear, and I just nodded in response.

He led me inside, and into the livingroom, where he sat us down on the couch; his arms still around me. I held onto him as if he was my lifepreserver. I couldn't bear it if he left me now, too.

"Promise you'll never leave me.." I appealed to him, into his marble chest.

"I _swear_ I will never leave you." I could feel something press lightly against the top of my head. His lips.

"Will you stay tonight, too?" I asked, looking up and into his eyes. His expression was tender as he looked back into mine.

"Of course," he told me.

I bent my head down, and rested it against his shoulder. "Thank you."

His arms tightened slightly around me, but it was in a comforting manner. And I felt safe.

**Now, on three. One...two...three.. AWWW!!  
Sad, but cute, too. At least that's my opinion. Hehe. Anyways.. I hope you liked this.  
If you have a few seconds to spare, please leave a lil comment. Just click the button below. Thanks!  
Ah well, Please READ & REVIEW!! Thanks!!  
Oops.. I almost forgot the chap's keyword!!  
Keyword; Snaptastic!**


	9. Those three little words

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**Okay.. I'm so terribly sorry for the oh so very late update!! A lot of stuff has been going on lately, and I've been just; meh. Stupid problems with friends and school and stuff. I haven't had much time to actually sit down and work on my fics for a while. Kinda frustrating, really.**

**Anyways.. I'm kinda feeling a bit insecure about this chap because it was so long ago that I updated, and I'm afraid I'm loosing my touch and all. It's kinda weird.. in almost every story of mine I write in a different way. Well, I love experimenting, trying out new ways anyway, so it doesn't matter. But, the thing is, I'm afraid that I suddenly start writing a chap in another way here. I really hope I don't.**

**And anyways.. I'm not gonna stall you anymore..**

**..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!!**

**- - -  
**

**Bella's POV  
**

**Those three little words**

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jasper's melodic voice whispered into my ear.

I didn't know if I wanted to or not, and I didn't know if I wanted to talk about it with Jasper in particular. But I had no one else though..

"Why did he..." I swallowed hard. "..leave me?" The tears continued to stain my cheeks.

Jasper wiped them quickly away with his thumb, stroking my cheek gently with his palm, before answering.

"I don't know why.." he said hesitantly. "All I know is what he's feeling right now.."

"And what's that?" I asked quietly, kind of afraid of what Jasper would tell me, but I reminded myself that I needed to hear it, to better understand _his_ decision. Maybe by hearing it I would know what to do to make him see straight again.

"He feels inadequate." he said, his voice strained. "He believes you love me more than him, and -"

"That's stupid!" I cried exasperatedly, interrupting him. "How can he honestly believe that?!"

"He can't read your mind, Bella." For some reason he sounded sad. It confused me a bit, but my mind didn't take that much notice to it as I had so much other things to think about. Like; Why in the world did I have to be the one exception to _his_ gift now?!

He thought I was in love with Jasper..

How could he think that though?! Hadn't I showed him how much he really meant to me before? How could he possibly doubt my love for him? How could one unintended attraction ruin what we had?

"I need to talk to him." I was grasping on straws. There was no doubt about the fact that he wouldn't change his mind now, but I was still hoping I could. I could not just give up on him when he was under a false impression. I didn't love Jasper, I loved Edward. How could he believe otherwise?

Ugh, this was so stupid! What the hell was he thinking?!

Then Jasper interrupted my thoughts, telling me what I hadn't even considered for one second. The one thing I had counted on was that Edward would be here so that I could talk to him and straighten things out, but what Jasper said changed everything.

"Bella, he's gone.."

As he said it, he took my hand carefully in his, looking deeply into my eyes. I was the one who looked away first, and as I did, he sighed very quietly. As before, I noticed it, but didn't care too much about it. I was still focused on what I should do about Edward. Or if there was even something for me to do still about it. Maybe it was completely over?

It seemed like me and Edward would never be together again, didn't it? Our relationship was doomed from the very beginning, and we had only caused ourselves unnecessary heartache by staying together all this time. But, even then, I didn't regret it. He meant everything for me and he would always be 'the one' for me. No matter what.

Still, there was no doubt about the fact we probably weren't meant for each other. No matter how right it felt when I looked into Edward's topaz eyes, or when I touched his cool skin, it wasn't meant to be. He would forever be my never.

"What do you mean 'gone'?" I asked in a whisper, and he looked down immediately, not wanting to meet my eyes.

"I heard him on the phone with _her_.." His face fell as he mentioned my...best friend? Was she still that? That was very doubtful. I didn't think she'd ever want to see me again, and I couldn't blame her, really. What I'd done was unforgiveable. I could never take it back, and frankly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to if I'd been given the opportunity to change things.

Yes, I'd had Alice and Edward in my life before, and both were very good things. But now I had Jasper, which I hadn't had before. Sure, he couldn't replace Alice or Edward, but he was a very good friend for me. He comforted me, he helped me and he was just there for me in general. And I felt safe with him.

"..and he said he was coming soon." Jasper finished, but I still didn't understand what was up here. I looked at him confusedly, trying feebly to figure out what he was saying by looking at his indecipherable face.

"He's gone to Alaska, Bella. He's with Alice in Denali."

Oh.

OH!

Disappointment and guilt washed over me, and I could feel a new set of tears making their way down my cheeks.

Jasper gently swept the salty drops off of my cheeks with the tips of his fingers, and instantly the wetness was replaced by a burning sensation, igniting my skin.

His cool fingers left a warm trail, under my eyes, when they abandoned the area to brush my hair out of my face. I reached up to touch the soft blazing skin on my cheeks, and as I felt it, I saw, from my peripheral view, him play with a lock of my hair between his fingers. Why he did it, I haven't got the foggiest, but I still let him. After all he'd done for me how could I deny this little detail? If it somehow made him happy, or distracted him from thinking unpleasant things, then how could I not let him, even if it felt kind of weird?

"What are we going to do?" I whispered, resting my head against his left shoulder.

"I don't know, Bella," he sighed, beginning to stroke my arm lightly up and down. It was nice. I could feel myself getting calmer by the second, but it was probably because he was working his gift on me right now. But I didn't care, really. Not now anyway. "I don't know."

"Do you think they'll ever believe us?"

"I don't know," he said, frowning slightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Jasper."

"Who's is it then?"

"No one's."

He leaned away, looking at me questioningly.

"You told me you didn't regret that kiss.." I said.

"And I didn't." he replied calmly. "Did you?" he raised one perfectly sculptured eyebrow at me.

"No." I told him truthfully.

"Hm.." he murmured.

"What?"

"I guess it is no one's fault then, huh?"

I smiled a little. "I guess not.."

We sat in silence for awhile then, just relishing in the peace and quiet around us. It wasn't an awkward silence or anything. On the contrary, it was a very comfortable silence.

"What would you like to do today?" He asked suddenly, turning to look at me, smiling genuinely.

I thought for a moment, and then decided upon something I hadn't done in awhile.

"I want to bake something, or better yet, I want some pudding!"

His smile grew, and I could feel the corners of my mouth pull up, too. I knew he didn't have anything to do with my emotions - he didn't alter them. His momentary happiness was just contagious.

"Sounds like a plan," Jasper replied with a grin.

"Well, I'll have to go to the thrift store then, and buy it. Care to join me?" I asked as I got up from the sofa.

"I'll always join you, Miss Swan." He said as he got up as well, bending his arm, requesting me to take it.

And I did.

- - -

We hopped into my big, old Chevy truck, and slowly made our way to the thrift store. The ride there was nice. We didn't talk at all, just listened to whatever was on the radio. There was one song, though, that came on which made the environment in the car a little bit awkward for a few minutes. I recognized the song as 'Look After You' by The Fray, one of my favorite bands. And it was actually one of their best songs.

_If I don't say this now I will surely break  
__As I'm leaving the one I want to take__  
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait  
My heart has started to separate_

_Oh, oh, oh  
oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh,  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you_

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
Will you, won't you, be the one I'll always know  
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
And I'll look after you_

_If ever there was any doubt  
My love she leans into me  
This most assuredly counts  
She says 'most assuredly'_

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
After you  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh_

_It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own_

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh_

Jasper turned his head towards me and smiled after the song had ended, and I smiled back at him, feeling kind of uneasy.

His smile faded slightly at that, but it was still there anyway.

I cut the engine after I'd parked my truck in one of the empty slots, and after that we made our way into the store. The awkwardness between us long gone, replaced with ease and happiness.

From the corner of my eye I caught Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory staring at me and Jasper, who I once again was linked with by the arm. I felt that same old burning sensation on my cheeks, and I was sure that they were a dark crimson now. Great. But, even if I felt kind of self-conscious, seeing as no one knew that Edward and I had broken up, I couldn't help the smile tugging on the corners of my mouth.

I had Jasper here, and as I watched him suddenly running away with the cart, grinning from ear to ear, my heart felt warm. He was a really great friend for me, and I was happy that he wanted to be with plain old me. I wasn't anything special, and I knew that _all_ too well, but still, he was here with me.

"So, where is this yummy pudding then?" Jasper asked when I reached him at the end of the aisle, looking around, trying to spot it.

I laughed. "Did you just say 'yummy'?"

"Yep," He grinned proudly.

"I've never heard a vampire say yummy before, not even Emmett, and he's the one you expect to hear it from, really."

"I don't think I've heard anyone say it either," he laughed. "But I guess that's what makes me so special, right? I'm unique."

"And inventive," I nodded, mock serious.

As soon as he locked eyes with me again we both burst out laughing.

He suddenly let go of my arm, taking my hand instead. "Come," he dragged me by the hand over to the shelf where all the puddings where, after he'd spotted them.

"Observant are we?" I smiled.

"More than you'll ever know," his honey eyes were slightly smoldering as they met my brown ones' glance. Our eyes locked again, but this time it was more intense than just some innocent mutual laugh.

I was the one who looked away first, and I could feel his eyes in my back as I reached up to grab the right box with pudding. It was the kind you made yourself. Chocolate was my favorite and so I grabbed that one.

"Fan of chocolate, eh?"

"Who isn't?" I smiled, and just for the hell of it, I grabbed another one.

He laughed an uneasy, carefree laugh. I smiled at him, and his full lips turned up into a smile as well.

"Done?" he asked in that hard, yet soft, musical voice of his.

"Hm.." I pondered for a moment. Did I need something else while I was here already? I wasn't completely sure. "I think so, yes."

"Okay," he said. "Let's go then."

He still held my hand in his, as we made our way towards the register.

- - -

Half an hour later we were in the kitchen of my home and I was about to make my pudding.

Jasper was currently sitting in one of the chairs, observing me as I went about the kitchen to find all the things I needed.

"Need any help?" he asked from where he sat. I turned around and saw him smiling at me; it lightened up his face. He looked so happy for some reason.

"Nope, sorry." I said, as I began to whisk the chocolate pudding. It looked so good, and I almost felt like drooling. I couldn't wait for it to be done!

"That good?" Jasper suddenly chuckled, making me jump as I had tried to focus so hard on the pudding. I dropped the whisk into the bowl, making it splash, and some of the pudding landed right in my face.

He laughed harder as I fell backwards and fell on my butt. I frowned irritatedly at him.

"Why are you laughing?!" I cried. "Help me up instead!"

He grinned as he got up and made his way over to me, and picked me up. In a swift movement he was suddenly standing right in front of me, our bodies pressed up against each other, my back against the counter. He slowly reached up a finger to my face where the pudding was, taking some onto his finger, and then he licked it off.

"What was that?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, staring at him.

"Gross human food," he frowned, but after just a second that frown was replaced with a smile again. "Although, comparatively, it's better than most of the stuff I've forced myself to eat before.."

"Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to try it," he shrugged, still smiling. "Wanted to see if you really were that great of a cook."

I couldn't help but to smile. "And what's the verdict of my cooking skills then?"

"Excellent," he grinned, suddenly taking more pudding off of my face with his finger and licking it off, just like before.

I stared at him, wondering what was going on here. Why was he so happy all of a sudden? I had never seen him like this before. It was kind of odd in a way, but still nice. I was happy that he was happy. _I_ was happy because _he_ was happy.

"Charlie will be home any minute now.." Jasper said after a while. "So, maybe I should go.." It seemed to me as if he was reluctant to leaving, and I couldn't say I didn't feel the same way. I liked having Jasper by my side.

"Yeah, probably.." I said, turning quickly to look outside the window before I looked back at Jasper. I stood up on my tippy toes and then gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

We both smiled each other, as he then stroked my cheek, his topaz eyes glistening from the reflecting lights of the lamp.

"Bye, Bella.." his voice was smooth, pronouncing my name like a caress, as he turned to leave.

"Bye, Jazz.." I replied, and he turned around, smiling, saying; "I'll see you later."

He winked at me.

I laughed.

And then he left.

- - -

I washed my face after Jasper had gone, and the sink, also removing the failed attempt at chocolate pudding.

When I was done with that I went to start preparing dinner for me and Charlie. I was feeling kind of tired, as it had been one really long day, and so I decided I would just cook some spaghetti bolognese for us. It was easy, and it was one of Charlie's favorites, too. He would like it without a doubt.

Just as it was done, he walked in with a huge smile on his face.

"Is that spaghetti bolognese, Bells?" he asked. "It smells amazing!"

"Yeah, it is, dad." I took out two plates from one of the cupboards and started shuffling on some food on both of them.

He walked back to the hallway when I put the plates on the table, and removed his jacket and gun, of course.

I sat myself down and began to eat, and he did the same when he came back in.

"Where's Edward nowadays?" Charlie asked conversationally, but I still detected that hint of resentment in his voice. "I haven't seen him around for a while.."

I could also tell that he liked that fact very much, exactly the opposite from me. I wanted him to get back here so that I could talk to him, and tell him how much I needed him, and wanted him, and not Jasper, like he thought himself.

How could he be so stupid?

I let out a heavy, miserable sigh, and I could feel the tears prickling in the corners of my eyes.

"What's the matter, Bells?" he asked, sounding confused and worried. "What's wrong??"

"We broke up, alright?" I cried, choking up. "Are you happy now?!"

Then I ran up to my room and flung myself on my bed, crying endlessly. All of the sadness I had denied myself to feel earlier was bubbling up to the surface now, and I could no longer hold it all in. It was just too much, and I felt as if I could barely breathe.

"Shh," a voice said quietly, right next to me. I recognized it immediately and turned to look at him.

Jasper, my guardian angel.

"It'll be alright.." he whispered softly, sitting on the floor next to my bed, his chin resting on my sheets, as he looked up at me with a pained look on his face.

He shouldn't look like he was being tortured. It was wrong.

I wanted to make it go away as I couldn't bear to see it on his angelic face, but I was too weak to do anything. I couldn't even help myself now.

"I'm here for you, Bella."

I swallowed hard, feeling that familiar lump in my throat, as I looked at him pleadingly. "Thank you," I breathed.

"Don't mention it, Bells," he reached out and took my hand in his once again. It was as cold as ever, but still warm in a way. It felt so reassuring when he did that, as if he truly didn't intend to ever leave my side.

He was my safe haven.

We stayed quiet for a very long time. I think it had been almost two hours since one of us spoke a single word. All we did was looking deeply into each other's eyes, as he held my hand. We didn't smile or anything like that, we just looked at one another, and it felt as if he looked right into my soul then.

It was weird, and yet it was still amazing. I had never felt anything like that in my entire life. There was this kind of electricity between us, but not the same raging one which had been between Edward and me. This was more slow, and fiercer than that, in a way.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked so quietly it could almost pass for a whisper, being the first one to break the comfortable silence around us.

"I'm thinking it's late," He replied slowly, seeming to carefully choose his words. "And that you should go to sleep.."

"Why?"

"It's been a long day for you," he said calmly. "And you need to rest, Bella.."

I frowned, but obeyed him nevertheless, crawling out of bed to get ready for another night of sleep. Jasper stayed on the floor while I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, slipping into my pajamas.

When I returned he was still there, on the floor, beside my bed.

"Hi," I said carefully, creeping slowly up to him.

Jasper didn't say anything at first, just patted on the bed with his hand. "You have to go to bed, Miss Bella." he said softly, serenely. "You need your beauty sleep,"

I smiled a little at him and then I got into bed, pulling my sheets up to my chin. Already I could feel myself getting more and more tired. I felt so drowzy all of a sudden, and I guessed it was out of all the anxiety and emotional stress I had been dealing with today.

My mind was exhausted, and my eyelids felt heavy. My eyes even began to droop a little.

But right before I fell into unconsciousness I could swear I heard the voice of an angel, whispering into my ear;

"I love you."

**Cliffy much?  
I would think so. Haha.  
I swear I won't let it be, like, 3 months or something until the next update again! Again, I'm soo sorry about that!! =(**  
**I hope this was satisfying enough, and that it was worth the wait..**  
**Please, spare a sec to leave a quick comment. It'd mean the world to me. For real!**  
**Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!!**  
**Keyword; Fruityliciously Tasty**


	10. Carpe Diem: teaser

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**Sorry, peeps! This is just a little teaser chapter for the upcoming one, chapter 10. And hopefully I'll have it up tomorrow!! I got a darn block again =( Right in the middle!! I've already written the beginning and the ending though, so don't worry! It won't be long until the next update ;D**

**Here you go anywaysers..**

**..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!  
**

"I thought you could use the rest.."

"Yeah, yeah.." I grumbled. "But I wanted to get up early though.."

"Why?"

"Because it feels like the whole day's gone by otherwise, and that I didn't do anything. Feels like I just wasted time for nothing when I could've done something important, something significant.."

"Carpe diem." Jasper said serenely, getting up from the floor. He looked at me first with no emotion, and then he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"What?" Of course I knew what Carpe Diem meant, but I didn't get fully why he said it.

"Seize the day, Bella. Do something out of the ordinary, and you'll see.. Get out from your comfort zone, and just do what ever you feel like, Bella.. and then the day won't be in vain after all. Carpe diem."

**Haha. The next chap will be a very important one! ;D****  
And did yah like this little teaser? Teehee. I hope you did!  
Lemme know what you thought, peeps! Please!  
Just spare a few seconds and give me a lil comment. It's not too much to ask for, really. =)**  
**Please READ & REVIEW!! Thanks!!**

**And there'll be a keyword for this one as well; Electrifically Enjoyable!**


	11. Carpe Diem: Part I

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**Holy f*ck. There are no words for this. There are no words to describe how sorry I am for not updating this story earlier. I feel really bad thinking about it being, like, 2-3 months since my last on this one. And that was only a teaser as well. :(**

**Can you guys ever forgive me? - And what's my excuse?, you may ask. Well, school. It's been stressful as hell. So has my life been in general. It's been killing me. I've had blocks for every story, really, for a long time, too. It's been awful! :(**

**Anyways... I've decided to do this... I've divided "Carpe Diem" into two parts. They're both really long. And the next one you'll get ASAP, I promise. This is the first one.**

**Also, I'm on Twitter now. You can find link to mine on my profile. It's stated as my Homepage. You'll get quicker updates there on what's going on with my stories and what-not. :)**

**Btw, Carpe Diem (latin) = Seize the day (English)  
**

**...NOW ENJOY!!  
**

**Carpe Diem: Part I  
**

**Jasper's POV**

"I love you," I whispered quietly into her ear after a while, when I was fairly sure she'd fallen asleep. It brought such an amazing feeling to let it out in the open, even if she was asleep and couldn't hear me.

But still, I had said it, as I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

_I love Isabella Swan._

I love her.

So much.

The smile on my lips was unevitable as I watched her peaceful figure sleeping soundly before me. Gently, I reached out and put the hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear, where it belonged. She was too beautiful to be hidden behind a curtain. If she'd let me I would show her how gorgeous she really was, but I knew she wouldn't let me, even if I could get her to like me the same way I did her.

Her eyelids suddenly began to flutter, and I pulled back slightly, wondering if she was about to wake up. She didn't. Instead, to my surprise, she began to talk in her sleep. I remembered Edward mentioning that before all of _this_ happened, but I had never heard it myself until now.

"I... love you... too..." she murmured softly, and I thought my heart was going to explode with all the feelings I felt within me at her words. Joy being the emotion that ruled all else. Hope and faith being tied second.

She loved me, _too_!

If I'd been human I was sure my cheeks would've been hurting from the wide smile that occupied my face. Elation and pure happiness ran through me, and I felt blissful.

"...Edward... Jasper... no..."

I stopped breathing, and just stared at her beautiful face.

She looked torn, sad... so miserable that I just wanted to hold her, and comfort her; to have her in my arms. I wanted to kiss her, and make the pain go away. I wanted to heal her wounds.

"...Don't go... Stay... Edward... Jasper.."

She breathed a heavy sigh.

Second after second passed by with me just waiting anxiously to see if she would say anything else, but, to my disappointment, she never did. Her body shifted around restlessly the whole night, though, and all I wanted to do was to wake her up from whatever dream she was having, and take her in my arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright, that I was here for her. Always.

I kept wondering what she was dreaming about, kept trying to figure out what her mutterings meant – the only reason I didn't wake her up. It didn't exactly look like she was enjoying it very much. She kept repeating both mine and my brother's name, and that frustrated me more anything else. Hearing Edward's name on her lips while she was sleeping... it was quite literally killing me. She was dreaming about him for crying out loud! And I didn't even know what her dream was about. It could be anything. And that _anything_ made me more and more depressed by the minute, not knowing what she was feeling, whom she loved.

_Me or Edward?_

All night long I stayed by her side, sitting on the floor next to her bed, feeling the need to be as close to her as possible without making her feel uncomfortable. That's why I didn't lie down on her bed again, like I'd done the day before. I didn't want a repeat, even if she'd kissed me then – the one thing that I wanted her to do every second that we both were breathing. But she'd only think I was Edward then and that would upset her all over again, because he'd left her here, broken. He left her in pieces, pieces I was now trying to pick up and reassemble.

When she woke up the next morning her hair was all a mess, like a hay stack almost, but it actually looked good on her - But what didn't?

"Hello, beautiful," I smiled at her, resting my cheek against her soft pillow. She only blinked at me. Still sleepy, I guessed.

"What time is it?" she yawned, sitting up in bed, stretching a little.

"To be exact, it's 11.36AM."

"WHAT?!" she cried so suddenly that she almost made _me_ jump. Her eyes widened with horror. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!"

"I thought you could use the rest.."

It was then that I remembered what she'd said in her sleep, and it kind of made me feel more reserved. I decided right at that moment that I would let _her _make the next move. It was her turn to show where her feelings laid.

_Me or Edward, Bella?_

May the best man win.

**Bella's POV**

Before I fell asleep last night I was somewhat sure that I had heard someone whisper, "I love you." into my ear. But it had been so faint, though, and as I'd been so tired as well, I wasn't sure if I had just imagined it or if it had really happened. Just by thinking about it, imagining that perhaps Jasper really felt that way about me, made me feel all warm inside.

- - -

"I thought you could use the rest.."

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled, drawing my hands lazily through my knotted hair. "But I wanted to get up early though."

"Why?"

"Because it feels like the whole day's gone by otherwise and that I didn't do anything. Feels like I just wasted time for nothing when I could've done something important, something significant.."

"Carpe diem." Jasper said serenely, getting up from the floor. He looked at me first with no emotion, and then he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"What?" Of course I knew what Carpe Diem meant, but I didn't get fully why he said it.

"Seize the day, Bella. Do something out of the ordinary, and you'll see..." he said. "Get out from your comfort zone, and do whatever you feel like... and the day won't be in vain after all. Carpe diem."

I stared at him in confusion, feeling as if I was missing out on something here. What was he talking about? Yes, he wanted me to 'seize the day' – that was obvious, but it was quite clear to me that he was implying something, something that I just couldn't put my finger on.

"Well," Jasper said then, breaking my little reverie. "I have to go hunt quickly. Haven't eaten for a week now, so it's about time. Wouldn't want any accidents now, would we?"

"Oh," I mumbled, feeling a bit disappointed. But I could understand his reasoning though. Of course he should eat. "Okay."

"I'll be back later though..."

I smiled at him, and he gave me a quick smile in return right before he darted out of my window, leaving me behind here, all alone. I frowned at my predicament.

_What was I supposed to do now?_

I let out a heavy sigh as I glanced over at the window, which Jasper had just disappeared out of. Now I had a few hours of solitude ahead of me and I had nothing to do.

_Oh joy!_

I just sat up in bed for about 20 minutes, just staring at whatever was in front of me. I didn't really think at all. I just... was. No real thoughts passed through my mind whatsoever.

My eyes slowly drifted around the room and I suddenly noted that I hadn't cleaned it in what seemed like ages. My books were scattered all over my room, _Wuthering Heights_ being the closest one to me in distance – it laid in the corner, next to an old gray sock.

I loved that book, really, I did, but I'd begun to associate it with Edward lately and it didn't make me feel too happy about it anymore. That was probably why it was laying in the corner. It was kind of like me in a way: forgotten, alone, getting all dusty and even more unwanted by the second...

These last few days had really taken a huge toll on me, and the only one who knew that besides me was Jasper. He knew exactly how much I was really suffering, as he suffered in the same way. Well, almost in the same way because it wasn't like Alice had been about to propose to him.

Edward had.

And Jasper was also lucky in another way - he could make himself feel happy even if he really wasn't deep down. I suddenly felt jealous of him, wanting to be able to move on like Edward obviously did. But at the same time, I didn't want to move on, because what if he came back? What if Edward came back for me again?

My heart began to pump a little faster and my breathing quickened slightly.

Another one of my favorites were out of the picture as well. _Romeo & Juliet_ laid under a couple of random papers on my desk. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd read in that one, either. It felt like ages ago. Like a completely different lifetime.

And maybe it was a sign to make me move on, the fact it was hidden underneath everything else, that I could barely see it. Maybe Edward wasn't my true love after all, maybe I just hadn't found my 'the one' yet. Maybe I even knew him already...

Or, just maybe, I should just stop reading love stories because they just depress me even further.

I got up from my bed and decided that I would clean my room up as soon as I'd taken a nice, warm shower and eaten breakfast. Well, lunch was more like it seeing as my alarmclock said it was 11.17am now.

A few minutes later I hopped into the shower, and let the warm water caress my skin. My body felt so tense, and the soft touches of the water made my muscles relax in a pleasant way. It ran down my back and I exhaled breathily, resting my forehead against the wet tiles. It felt nice.

I put on a pair of gray sweats and a midnightblue tee that I'd gotten from my closet earlier afterwards, before I headed downstairs. This outfit was very comfortable, and it suited me. At least that's what I thought myself. I don't think Alice would've agreed with me there.

At the thought of her, my former best friend, a sudden pang in my heart made its appearance known. It hurt to think of how I'd driven her away like that, and how I'd cheated on Edward, making him leave me as well. I felt so alone now, without Jasper here as well. He somehow managed to keep me whole, to an extent. He was like my new Jacob.

Often when Jasper was around I still felt incredibly sad over the loss of Edward, but then somehow also happy because I had him here to take care of me. He knew just how to tend to me when I felt especially low. He knew exactly what to say to calm me down when I was upset. It really was amazing.

_He _was amazing.

When I was downstairs I got myself nothing too special. Just cereal - With milk, of course. I downed it quite quickly - it took about five minutes or so, which was pretty fast for being me. I usually took a while even if I tried to eat faster sometimes. But now I wished I hadn't done that, though, because now I was left to that quiet alone-time that I didn't like. At least the cleaning would distract me from thinking about... things. I even cleaned the bowl I'd just used longer than needed, treating it like it was a porcelain doll, touching it very lightly.

Another five minutes later I found myself in my room again, staring at all the papers on my desk, which was lying on top of different books and cds. After rummaging through it all I stumbled upon my first cd by Linkin Park that I'd lost a while ago. I decided to put it on while I was cleaning – working like another distraction.

_When I pretend everything is what I want it to be  
I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see  
When I pretend, I can't forget about the criminal I am  
Stealing second after second just cause I know I can but  
I can't pretend this is the way it'll stay I'm just  
(trying to bend the truth)  
I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be, so I'm  
_

I began with picking all the different little notes and papers up and putting them into separate piles, so it was easier to see what should go where; what I would throw away and what I would keep. There were a lot of random doodles, some with neverending spirals and weirdly-shaped loops, and some saying _E & B_ in tiny little hearts. I scrunched those ones up rightaway and threw them into the bin. But, as usual, I missed it and so I had to go and pick them all up from the floor and drop them into the bin properly.

_  
(Lying my way from you)  
No no turning back now  
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)  
No no turning back now  
(Let me take back my life, I'd rather be all alone)  
No turning back now  
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)  
No no turning back now  
(The very worst part of you is me)  
_

I was actually quite surprised by the real disarray on my desk. Usually I had all my things in order, but right now that surely wasn't the case. Another note I found had _Mrs Edward Cullen_ written all over it. I remembered that afternoon, when I'd written that one. I wanted to see and feel what that'd be like, to be Mrs Edward Cullen, as I knew that wasn't possible for us. Edward had said so himself.

But I guess he lied...

_  
I remember what they taught to me  
Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be  
Remember listening to all of that and this again  
So I pretended up a person who was fittin' in  
And now you think this person really is me and I'm  
(Trying to bend the truth)  
But the more I push the more I'm pulling away 'cause I'm  
_

...Or just doubted himself, like always.

The one thing I found that surprised me the most, though, was a photo of Edward and me, lying face down on my desk, underneath all the papers. I gently picked it up and brushed the little dustparticles that had gathered on it away with my sleeve, looking at it warily, remembering the time it had been taken.

Edward had joked about our relationship progressing too fast for him and said two dates weren't enough. He wanted to court me properly. "You are truly testing my innocence, love." he had said with a smirk. "Two dates – I don't even know you after two dates. And I have already lost my innocence. You're stealing it away with every move you make, Bella."

I, of course, blushed furiously at that.

The same second he had said that, Alice had run into the room and snapped a photo of us together: Edward had his arms around my waist, and my hands rested lazily on his chest, as we were both looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

_  
(Lying my way from you)  
No no turning back now  
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)  
No no turning back now  
(Let me take back my life I'd rather be all alone)  
No turning back now  
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)  
No no turning back now  
(The very worst part of you)  
(The very worst part of you is ME)  
_

My eyes began to prickle, and so I put the photo back down, laying it face-down again. I couldn't bear to see it anymore. It just hurt too much.

_  
This isn't what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would  
have you running from me  
Like This  
This isn't what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would  
have you running from me  
Like This  
This isn't what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would  
have you running from me  
Like This  
This isn't what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would  
have you running from me  
Like This  
_

I continued on with my cleaning and, after what felt like forever, I was finally done. Everything was back in their rightful places and I smiled at what I had accomplished today, feeling satisfied with myself for the first time in a long time.

_  
(You)  
No turning back now  
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)  
No no turning back now  
(Let me take back my life I'd rather be all alone)  
No turning back now  
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)  
No no turning back now  
(The very worst part of you)  
(The very worst part of you is me) _

After I was done I was right back at where I'd started; having nothing to do. I wanted Jasper to come back because this solitude was killing me.

I went back to sit on my bed, and I found myself glancing back to my desk every once in awhile, back at another photograph that laid face-down. There was this pull towards it - A very strong pull. And a part of me wanted to go back and look at it, but another part warned me not to do so. It would bring back the tears, no doubt, but it was worth it. It would rip my heart out, possibly, but it would still be worth it.

Slowly, I got up and walked over to it. My hands were shaking a little as I reached out for it, picking it up. At first I just stared at it, looking at all the little details. But after awhile I found the courage to _really_ look at it.

The picture was of Edward, smiling at me, the photographer.

"You know..." I said after awhile to him, going back to my bed to sit down. "I don't know why I did it." I sighed, pausing for a second. "I mean, I _know_ it was wrong of me to kiss him, but for some reason I just couldn't stop myself." Another pause. "I can't say that I regret that kiss, really, no matter how much I wanna say I do, because it brought me Jasper, and he cares for me. He really does. And I think he might even love me..."

I traced the contours of Edward's face. "But I miss _you_. I want you to come back to me. I love you. Forever."

A single tear ran down the side of my face as I put it back down, facing it against the wall.

- - -

A few hours later, around 3pm, Jasper returned. He knocked on the frontdoor twice before I had a chance to open up for him. I felt releaved to have him back here, at home.

"Hey," I smiled as I opened the door, revealing a very wet Jasper out on the porch. He really looked like a male model standing there in the pouring rain.

_Beautiful... Like Edward._

I could feel a lump forming in the back of my throat.

"Hi," he smiled back. "May I come in?"

"Of course," I stepped aside so he could walk past me. "You know you're always welcome here, Jasper. No need to ask."

"Thank you."

Was it just me or had he suddenly become more reserved around me?

It was sort of scary, and it made me feel self-conscious. Where was the casualness from before? He seemed almost like a robot to me now, the way he moved and spoke. It was creeping me out. I missed my Jasper; the one who was ridiculous most of the time; the one who made me smile and feel secure; the one who didn't make me feel not good enough.

The one who made me feel just right.

But perhaps he'd tell me later if something was up – he must know I was here for him just as much as he was here for me after all. I would never turn on him, I would never leave him, unless he asked me to. He must know that.

_He'd tell you if something was wrong_, I kept telling myself._ Trust him. He trusts you, right?_

"How're you feeling?" I asked him, trying to make it sound casual, still sort of freaked out by his remoteness.

The corners of his mouth pulled up into a gentle smile, as he walked into the livingroom. I followed him.

"I'm fine, thank you," he said politely. "And you?"

"I'm alright."

We sat ourselves down on the couch in silence. I brought my knees up to my chest, enveloping them with my arms while resting my head on them, watching Jasper carefully. Something was different about him. Had it something to do with his recent hunt or was there something else going on that I didn't know, something he wasn't telling me? I didn't know what it was yet, but I intended on finding his secret out sooner or later.

"So, what did you do while I was gone?" he asked me after a couple of minutes had passed.

"I took a shower, ate, cleaned my room." I told him and shrugged. "Nothing too fun. Did you enjoy your hunt?"

"It was... satisfying. Found a herd of deer a couple of miles from here..." he admitted, seemingly unwillingly, as he glanced once at me with uncertainty in his honey-eyes. Perhaps he was afraid of saying too much, that he'd scare me? I smiled back at him, letting him know I was fine, that I wasn't afraid.

He let out a breath, relaxing a little bit more, but he was still pretty tensed up.

"So... did you do what I told you to do?" he suddenly asked, a small smile forming on his full lips.

"What?"

I hadn't realized he'd asked me to do something while he was away. Suddenly I felt stupid and self-conscious for not understanding what he meant, and obviously because I hadn't done what he'd asked me to do earlier.

"Did you do something out of the ordinary?" he explained.

Oh. "Oh."

He raised an eybrow, urging me to answer. "Well?"

I felt the heat spread on my cheeks. "I cleaned my room?" I said kind of pathetically, biting my lip. Of course that wasn't anything out of the usual for me, although, it had been awhile since I'd last cleaned my room...

He shook his head at me. "Not good enough."

I sighed, frustrated. What did he want me to do then? I didn't understand what was going on right now. He was acting so strange, not at all like the Jasper I had come to know these last couple of days.

"Bella, something you usually don't do. Seize the day! Go on new adventures!" Jasper cried. "Cleaning your room isn't one, unless you're really, really weird. And you're not." he paused for a second, apparently to think about something.

It didn't take long before he had decided on what to do and, in a swift movement, he was suddenly standing up. And in the next second he had taken me by the hand and was leading me outside.

"Come on, we're going out!" Was all he said.

"Jasper, what's going on? Where are you taking me?" I cried, with no choice but to follow him as he was so much stronger than I was. He was beginning to scare me. He lead me to my truck and got me into the passenger's seat without an explanation to boot.

"Don't worry, Bella." he said softly, buckling me in. "You're perfectly safe in my care." He closed the cardoor for me and returned to the driver's seat.

"I know." I breathed as he drove off into the looming darkness.

**And that was the first part. I hope you enjoyed it! To be honest, I wasn't that happy with it, but that's me. But I'm the author, right? The author always criticize herself/himself the worst. But, yeah... anyways...**

**Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much! :)**

**Keyword: Nutty Munchkins**

**PS. The song was _Lying From You_ by _Linkin Park_****.  
**


	12. Carpe Diem: Part 2

**Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

It's been awhile, eh?

Hmm. I owe you guys an explanation, I really do. And I'm not dead, if you thought that. So... PLEASE READ this AN. It'll explain my absence here on FF.

It wasn't my intention to "abandon" it, like some people probably think I did. I haven't abandoned it, as you can now see. It's been 1 ½ years now, and that's just... insane. It's an insane amount of time. I wasn't even really aware of it being that long ago - sure, I knew it'd been... ages. But I didn't think it'd be AGES. If you know what I mean?

Back then I was dealing with myself. I was depressed, like_ really_ depressed. And we moved during the summer of '09. We had no internet for a long time - I was only ever online when I went to library and borrowed a comp there, which wasn't very often. Things were crazy on the homefront, but especially crazy on the me-front. Like I said, I was depressed. I got help last year, after New Year's, so it's been about a year now since I got help. But something like that doesn't go away that easily... if you've been there you know what I'm talking about. My diagnosis, if you will, was that I was on the verge of being "heavily depressed" - some point-scale thing I had to fill out.

I hit rock bottom after New year's last year, and broke down. That's when I finally realized that I really did need help, or else I wasn't going to make it. I also graduated last June, so there was a lot going on there at the end - me getting better mentally and things to take care of with school. I tried to get better in school and all, and really bother now, but it was HARD. You can't imagine. But after that - summer came around, and suddenly I was thrown into having a bit more responsibility over myself and my future than I was prepared for. People really counted you as an adult then - the people who don't know you out there in society - and at the end of the summer, I got an internship at a pre-school. I was sick _a lot_ during last fall (not used to babygerms xD), but the internship ended January 11th this year, so now I'm well again. x) And now I'm in school again, sort of, taking a few classes & trying to better my grades so I can get into Uni and all.

So... that's what was going on. And I know there are a lot of people out there who don't wanna hear it, but seriously, I'm only human. Bad stuff happens to everyone, and not just you (the reader). And if reading fics and all makes you feel better, and you get pissed when a story suddenly doesn't get updated anymore, then think of the writer behind it. He/she's human too, just like you. I'm human and I didn't intend for this major hiatus to happen.

Anyway...** the comeback's starting**, 'cause I've got a killer schedule! Free almost every day, baby! Whoot! :D

ENJOY!

* * *

**Carpe Diem: Part 2**

**Jasper's POV**

"Don't worry, Bella. You're perfectly safe in my care."

"I know." she whispered, sounding a little scared. Her feelings told me the same story. I truly hadn't meant to have that effect on her. I swallowed a sigh and tried to calm her with my powers, but it didn't have the soothing effect I had gone for. Though she was more at ease now, she was still a bit unnerved; no doubt because of me and my peculiar actions.

It wasn't my intention to make her feel uneasy, not at all, but I was getting more and more frustrated with myself. I wasn't used to feeling like this; the agitation and nervousness because of a girl.

With Alice there hadn't been this weird dance, to figure out what the other one was feeling, constantly wondering what the other one was thinking, feeling about you. She already knew we would fall in love, and that was pretty much it. It was impossible not to love her, and I still did - just not as much as I once did. I was certain that Alice would always have a special place in my heart, there was no escaping it. I loved Alice to the core, as I did Bella.

Suddenly, shallow breathing was heard, and I was brought out from my reverie; I turned my head to watch her. She was looking out of the window, tears slowly running down her face.

"Are you afraid?" I whispered, my breath caught.

She brought her fragile-looking fingers up to her eyes and wiped the shedded tears away. "No," she murmured, still looking out of the window.

"What is it then?"

"You're taking me to them, aren't you?" her voice broke and new tears started streaming down her fairly pink cheeks. I knew she meant _them_ as my family. I sighed.

"Yes," I tried to keep my own panic in check. There was no need for her to panic with me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just going to pick up a few things, okay? We'll leave as soon as possible."

"He's not there, right?" she sniffled.

I heaved another sigh. "No. He's not there."

When we started in on the little forest road that led to my old home, Bella's breathing changed. It started hitching and more tears were forming in her already red-rimmed eyes. I tried to calm her yet again, but it barely helped.

The house looked almost deserted, the way it was so quiet and still, but I, of course, knew better. I stopped the car out front, and turned to Bella, who was staring at the house with a panic-stricken expression. I leaned over and took her hand in mine.

"Bella," I said softly, gently making circles on the back of her hand with my thumb in an attempt to soothe her. "There's nothing to be afraid of here."

She turned towards me with a look in her eyes that cried; "Please, don't leave me!"

"It'll be alright, Bella. I'll only be gone for a second or two."

Her bottom lip began to quiver. I wanted to kick myself for causing her all this distress.

"Don't worry. Trust me."

And in a flash I got out of the car in and ran into the house. As soon as I got to the door, it opened and I was met by the person I'd wanted to see the least. Rosalie. Her eyes narrowed instantly.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm just going to pick up a few things... now if you don't mind, I have a place to be."

Her eyes glared at a point above my shoulder, and I knew it'd went straight to the truck and Bella. I could feel her rage building at the sight of her now.

I cleared my throat to get her attention again.

"Leave her out of this, Rose."

She turned back to me, fire gleaming in her eyes. "You're _protecting_ her now? What's she to _you_? Your precious girlfriend? You hook up with her as soon as Ed-"

I bit back a growl. "_I said_, leave her out of this."

"Jasper?"

My eyes travelled to the rest of my family who had now joined us, apart from Carlisle, who I guessed was at the hospital, working. It was Esme who has spoken up.

"Hi."

Esme looked at me with a mixture of sadness and happiness in her darkgolden eyes; happy about the return of one of her sons, and then sadness because she knew I was leaving soon again. Emmett was also sad, but he hid it better. His posture was naturally calm and relaxed whereas his emotions told another story.

"Long time no see, bro."

"It's only been five days," I shrugged.

"Where've you been staying all this time?" Esme wondered with a slight frown. She wanted me to come back 'home', but that was not an option for me. How could I stay after what I had done?

"Isn't it obvious?" Rosalie snorted. "He's been with the human – can't you smell her on him? She's outside, waiting for him as we speak." she looked disgusted.

Emmett's jaw literally dropped while Esme's already-set frown just deepened.

"Jasper..."

"What's going on between you two, really?" Rosalie interjected. "What the hell did Edward do to piss you off so much you had to make a move on her for?"

"Nothing, alright?" I cried. "Nothing's going on. What happened then just... did, and it's not any of our faults that they left! Don't blame Bella and me for them leaving."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. Emmett was a bit too stunned to say anything. Esme was just concerned, though I did not know what for. She shouldn't be. I was fine.

"I'm just here to pick a few things up, and then I'll be leaving again." I clarified and began to make my way up the stairs, ignoring them at all cost. Not that any of them said anything else after that though.

I went to my old bedroom and over to the huge wardrobe me and Alice used to share. Grabbing a bag, I threw a few sets of clothes into it, which I would need for the plans I had. I noticed how empty, and big, the wardrobe now seemed to be. When it had been full – mostly from Alice's clothes – it hadn't seemed so enormous to me. Now it did. A wave of guilt shot through me again at the thought of her, and what I'd done to her and us.

At the same time as I mourned my relationship with Alice, I felt joy for having Bella in my life. She was a remarkable human being. She was strong, though I don't think she would agree with me on that; she was endearing; she was brilliant... No matter what I'd compliment her about she would not agree with me. It was that low selfesteem of hers that made her blind to see her true self, as always. Someday that'd change, and I would be the one to do it. I would see to that.

I grabbed the bag and, right before I exited the room, shot a glance at my old guitar at the other end of the room. I'd have to come back here to get it later... if I didn't take it with me now. Maybe Bella would like me to play for her sometime. That thought cheered me up.

Neither one of the others said goodbye before I left. It didn't bother me too much, really. I knew how they felt – they just didn't know what to say. They were afraid of choosing sides, though I couldn't imagine why there had to be any at all. What happened had happened, and that was that. No need to make a bigger deal out of it. Weren't we all hurting enough as it was right now? I lost Alice, she lost me. Bella lost Edward and Alice, they lost her. The others had lost both Alice, Edward and me. Carlisle, Esme and Emmett had lost Bella, too. There was no need to make this any harder on any of us by creating sides to be on.

I went to the garage where I had my bike stashed, and led it outside to where the truck, and Bella, was. She heard me approaching and looked out of the window. When she saw what I was leading up to the truck, her eyes widened. I gestured for her to join me.

She got out of the car and approached me slowly. "Jasper...? What...?"

When she was close enough, I took her hand in mine and smiled. "Come on, Bella,"

She seemed hesitant but willing all the same. There was just something in her eyes, though, that told me everything wasn't like it should be. Her eyes strained on the motor vehicle.

"He-" Her lips pursed together; she didn't continue.

"Bella?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing." she mumbled, not looking at me. As I couldn't read her deep eyes, that often could tell you what was going on inside that head of hers, I settled for her emotions. Unfortunately they were frustratingly indecipherable. They were both kind of flat, emotionless and void.

I felt myself grow colder, if that was even possible. I think I already knew what was wrong...

**Flashback:**

"Hey, Jazz...?" Edward said, his voice floating up to mine and Alice's room from the garage. He had just returned from leaving Bella with the Quileutes. Apparently there was some sort of soirée there tonight, and Bella wanted to go. I could feel how it pained him that she so desperately wanted to be there, and the fact he now couldn't see if she was alright or not, as Alice couldn't see their futures. "Could you come here for a second?"

I put down the book that I'd been reading and then went to meet with him.

As I entered the garage I saw Edward leaning against the hood of his Volvo. His head was turned away at first, but when I arrived, he looked over at me. His face was indecipherable, but his emotions were not. He was hesitant, and slightly worried.

"What's up?" I asked him.

The corners of his mouth suddenly turned up in a small smile. It was strained, but it was still there. Judging by his emotions, I had a fairly good idea of what had him feel like this.

_She's fine, Edward. Calm down. You know she loves you, and no one else. Don't let Jacob Black get to you. Whatever he might feel for her, you know she wouldn't leave you. No matter what happens._

Some ease came over him, but not enough to settle his woes. He put his hand on my shoulder, silently thanking me. I gave him a reassuring smile in return. _She loves you. And you know it._ I gave him a pointed look.

"Now, what's up, bro?"

"I thought you'd might like this..." he said, smiling a little, but even if he smiled I could feel jealousy coming from him. That emotion I didn't understand. The worry I did, but not this.

_Why are you jealous, Edward? By whom?_

He ignored me, and walked over to a place in the garage where his motorcycle stood. He had bought it to be able to ride with Bella, as it had become a thing she enjoyed after we had left her in September. He wanted to support her, though, he thought it was far too dangerous for her at the same time. Therefore he had compromised by getting one himself so he could be there if she got hurt. I knew Bella would hate it if she found out about that reasoning, as she already thought of him as overprotective. We all did, to an extent. We understood both sides, so we didn't blame Edward for going overboard sometimes.

"What is it that you thought I might like?" I questioned out loud, raising an eyebrow at him.

"This." He patted the silver bike behind him.

"Your motorcycle?" I was a bit taken aback, but was happy by the surprise nonetheless. "You're giving it to me?"

He nodded. "I have no use for it." he shrugged.

"Thank you, Edward." I said whole-heartedly. "But I thought you and Bella...?"

He ignored me. "I'm sure Bella could teach you how to handle that thing, if you'd like."

"It'd be nice with some instructions, yes." I laughed. He smiled - a bit more genuine this time.

"I'll ask her later then."

**End Flashback.**

In an attempt to rid her from such thoughts – I did not want her thinking about Edward, I squeezed her hand gently and began to make circular patterns on the back of her hand with my thumb. It helped a little.

She looked up at me and gave me a small smile. "Thank you."

I smiled in return. "You're welcome."

"What's with the bike?"

"I thought you'd perhaps like to go camping with me over the night. What do you say?" Her mouth popped open, into a little O, as she stared at me. But she recovered quickly though.

"When you say 'seize the day', you really do seize it, don't you?" she laughed.

I smiled. "Well, what do you say?"

She grinned. "Yes."

_Yes._ She said yes to _me_. Jasper: 1, Edward: 0. Though I knew he wasn't here it still felt like a competition between the two of us. Whoever got First Place would win Bella's heart. Second Place was not an option in my book.

It was true that Edward wasn't here right now, but in spirit he certainly was. His memory haunted all of us, especially Bella and myself. It felt like Bella would never get over him (though I hadn't gotten over Alice yet, I needed her to forget Edward enough to acknowledge me the way I did her), and that I would always be fighting a ghost. It had perhaps not been that many days since they left – hadn't even been a week yet – but if I was being completely honest with myself, my attraction for Bella had been recognized by myself much earlier. It goes back to that first summer we'd shared together, although Edward had been with her then. I didn't think much of it then, but I did notice her beauty and charm all the same.

"Perfect." I grinned.

"I'll need to pick up some things, and let Charlie know where I'm at before we go though."

"Of course." Her accepting my request made me much happier than I had been in awhile. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "What about you taking the truck back, and I'll follow you with the bike?"

She nodded with a smile. "Sounds good."

**Bella's POV**

As I grabbed my bag and started throwing in the things I would need to have with me, I thought about the upcoming camping trip with Jasper. I wondered what had made him decide upon this now. There were so many other things we could do instead.

When I was ready, I walked downstairs and wrote a quick note to Charlie about me spending the night at Angela's, which was untrue, naturally. I'd probably have to let her know about it soon, though. If Charlie would call, though I doubted that he would, she could much easier cover up for me: tell him I'm in the bathroom or something, anything.

I took out my cellphone, which... Edward had given me. Instead of calling Angela, I went over to the garbagecan and threw the stupid electronic device in there. It didn't mean anything to me anymore. If I wasn't wanted, then why would I care?

Jasper obviously noticed my distress when I walked out of the house, because rather immediately a wave of calm washed over me.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." he smiled.

"Now, are you ready?" he asked, already straddling the bike, just waiting for me to hop on up behind him.

I nodded, pushing my arms through the bag's straps and hopped up on the bike. I snaked my arms around his waist so that I had something to hold onto. I could feel it in the atmosphere that he was grinning. It wasn't unusual for him to do that anymore – it seemed like he was always smiling nowadays. I still wondered why. The fact I'd heard him say those three little words, which I, deep down, knew had been for real, was likely to be the reason for his new, more cheerful persona. But to be honest, it bothered me a little bit, the way he felt about me – if he now was in love with me after all. How would it affect his and Alice's future? Would they never get back together? What about me and Edward then? Did we still have a chance, or was our future together as lost as Alice and Jasper's were?

He kicked the bike to life, and then we were on our way to nowhere.

He drove for about an hour, I think – might have been more, but I wasn't sure in which direction he did though. North, South, East, West? I really had no idea, but I couldn't care less anyway. I was far too entertained, watching the changing landscape beside the road. One second we were driving through what seemed to be a forest, and then we were driving by the sea-line. It was very beautiful.

Eventually he started to slow down. He had turned onto a gravel road surrounded by trees (it was hardly visible to be honest – I was surprised he'd seen it, because I certainly hadn't) a good 10 minutes earlier, but the trees began to thin out the farther we drove ahead. Soon we came to a small clearing next to the largest, and most beautiful, lake I'd seen in my entire life. It was even bigger than the one Charlie always took me to, to go fishing when I was younger.

It felt so peaceful here that I instantly became relaxed; the tension in my body evaporated as the cool air enveloped us.

The bike came to a halt right outside this little cottage that stood underneath a group of trees. It looked so homey.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him as my feet came down to the ground again, my eyes taking in the surroundings.

He smiled. "I've passed by here a few times when I've gone hunting."

I pulled my backpack off and put it down on by my feet.

"What did you have in mind for us to do exactly?" I wondered out loud, beginning to walk towards the shore. He didn't follow.

"Camping, just like I said before. It hasn't changed."

I frowned. Why did I even agree to do this? Had I lost my mind? "It's a bit cold..."

"I brought blankets for you."

I turned around to look at him, and saw that he was sitting on one already. He grinned as my eyes blinked a few times in surprise.

"You alright?" he asked, smiling sweetly.

"I... yeah," I nodded quickly. "I just forget that you're... well, not human sometimes." I began to walk towards him. "You're all so much faster than me, it's hard for me to keep up."

"You're keeping up exceptionally well, don't worry."

I sat down on the blanket, folding my hands in my lap, not daring to look at the man next to me.

"Why're you afraid?" he asked, and I could hear the hurt in his voice. It was subtle, but it was there nevertheless.

"Sorry." I said weakly, my eyes still fixated on my hands.

He sighed. "You didn't answer my question, you know..."

"I'm just not so used to this-" I pointed between him and myself, glancing up at him timidly. "-yet. It's only been five days..."

"You're right," he said, nodding slowly. "We're taking things a bit fast."

I nodded, too. I wasn't ready for any of this yet, really; like the growing friendship between Jasper and me... It'd been five days since what I now liked to call "Pandora". I accidentally opened myself up to something I wasn't prepared for. I made a mistake by opening the box, and now I had to suffer the consequences it brought with it.

He reached over and took my right hand in both of his, making light patterns with his thumb. "I'm sorry for... well, everything actually."

"What's everything?" I murmured, peeking up at him again.

"The kiss, making Edward and Alice leave – I know how much you miss them, and kissing you again, and now all of _this_."

"I keep telling you, but apparently you don't listen to me." I sighed, shaking my head at him. "I don't regret that kiss."

"Me neither."

He dropped my hand then, and hesitantly moved to cup my chin instead, making me look at him fully. My heart started thumping faster by the intensity I saw in his eyes. The hurt and need in them was raw, and it felt like I was turning into jelly under his stare.

"Can I kiss you, again?" he whispered, his soft voice full of devotion.

Words failed me completely; I nodded.

He leaned in ever so slowly, his head tilting closer to mine. The anticipation in the air rose by every painfully slow second that passed by, and as his lips formed themselves around mine, my breathing stopped altogether. One of his hands went to my waist, and it felt like I was burning up despite the cold air and his freezing touch.

I quickly broke off to catch my breath, but as soon as I'd taken a gulp of air, his lips came down on mine again. They moved passionately in time with my own. Our breathing became erratic, but neither of us cared. I had missed this too much.

"Jasper..." I whispered against his lips after a few moments.

"Hmm?"

"Let's enjoy the sunset."

There wasn't a lot of sun out, so he wasn't sparkling. The clouds made sure of that. But there was enough sun to actually notice the sun setting on the horizon.

He pulled away, his eyes studying my face with wonder. "Okay." he said softly, intertwining his left hand with my right.

I looked away, too afraid of that gentleness in his eyes and manners. It both exhilarated and scared me at the same time. Honestly, I loved the way he looked at me, like he really did care about me, but it also saddened me like nothing else. Because I still had feelings for someone else. And I knew he knew that, but... it wasn't changing what was happening between the two of us. This – whatever it was – only seemed to strengthen by each day, and it scared the living daylights out of me.

I thought about the weird dream I'd had last night, and it made me shudder, remembering what'd happened in it. I felt so guilty because both Edward and Jasper had been there, and they were more or less making me choose between them. What the hell was up with that?

Of course I loved them both, but it was in entirely different ways, of course. My heart would always belong to Edward. And no one else. But then why had I dreamt that? Why had I actually considered Jasper before my supposed true love? Why had I _chosen_ Jasper _before_ him in the dream?

But perhaps I was just exaggerating its messages. Maybe I had dreamt that because I was so sick and tired of all of the confusion I kept on feeling about the two of them. And they didn't make it any easier for me either, the way they were acting: Edward had left, and Jasper had stayed. Alice had left, and Jasper had stayed. He didn't go after them, instead he stayed right here in Forks.

With me.

Edward had left, and I was still here. Alice had left, and I was still here. I hadn't gone after them, instead I'd stayed right here in Forks.

With Jasper.

We stayed with each other.

We stayed for each other.

We stayed _because_ of each other.

With a daunting epiphany I realized that I actually felt butterflies in my stomach now, and as I looked over at him, sitting next to me on the blanket, my heart felt especially warm.

His topaz eyes were kind when they met mine, and his lips were pulled up into a small smile.

I felt safe when he was near me. Reassured. I knew he'd never leave me, and it was not because of those three little words he'd said last night, if that even really happened.

I felt safe because I trusted him.

Because I believed in him.

Because I... _loved_ him, too.

* * *

**Oooooh. Did you see that confession coming? ;D**

**You got a flashback - the first one, and you got a little info from Jasper that might've been a surprise to you. He noticed her the first summer, and with the bikes... ;D Hihi. There's a reason for everything, you know. So... their love - because now both have realized it - isn't just something that happened in a matter of days. So it's not rushed, if you thought it was.**

**I can promise more flashbacks in future chapters! ;D Also, in the next chapter you'll get more of their little camping trip!  
**

**Hope you liked this! And I hope old readers - and new readers - both enjoyed this. I'd be more than happy if you'd review this... I'd be exstatic! :D Like, even more than that. Hope I still got any of the old readers left anyway, even after all this time!**

**And I SWEAR that it won't take so long until my next update - and I will update the other stories as well, so if you're a fan... be sure to look out for some new chappies by next week or so.!**

**ALSO...**

**If you're a fan of **Vampire Academy**, then be sure to check out my new story: In Search of Peace. It's an alternate version of the first book, where Lissa died in the car crash, but not before she made Rose shadow-kissed. Rose didn't runaway from the school. Instead she stayed and she grieved Lissa, her bondmate.**

**Have a wicked weekend everyone! :D  
**


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